Together Forever?! : "Destiny's Puppets"

Introduction

This is my second story in the series – Together Forever?! Love, Betrayal, Hate and everything in between!

After sharing a story that has a “feel-good” factor, it’s time to face up to the realities of life that would make one question some widely prevalent societal norms. The second story in the series, this one doesn’t paint a pretty picture. It offers a glimpse into “an arranged marriage gone wrong” situation. 

Destiny's Puppets

Prelude: 

Ben, a well-settled guy in his late 20’s, an engineer by profession with a stable job abroad was on the lookout for a decent well-educated girl to spend the rest of his life with. He had two siblings, a younger brother, and sister. His brother also held a job abroad and would visit home once a year. His sister, a pretty young thing, worked as an air-hostess on international flights. Ben’s father had been paralyzed and bedridden. His mother, a hardworking and dedicated lady, took very good care of him and did everything she could to make him feel comfortable and loved.

So, circling back to the core character of our story, as part of his quest for finding the perfect life partner, a matrimonial mediator introduced him to Alison. Ben and Alison met a couple of times, had a few conversations, got to know each other and kept in touch through emails and online chats. But as destiny had it, or call it human interference in destiny’s plans, a month down the line, Alison refused the proposal without citing any clear reason. About two months later, in July 2009, she got engaged to one of her classmates from college and about six months later, in December 2009, they got married.

Now, the only thing that went horribly wrong with Alison’s choice of picking her life-partner was that she thought since the guy was her classmate, she knew all there was to know about him. To her misfortune, the guy turned out to be a self-centered, egoistic, dominating and arrogant son-of-a-b**** who always wanted everything to be done his way. Even worse were her in-laws. With every passing day, they only got better at devising new strategies to screw her happiness.

I’ve never quite understood whether they realized that they’re depriving their newly-wed daughter-in-law of happiness or did the same unintentionally. If you ask me, their sick psychology might have made them think that they were instead making her life happier.

Bottom line – two years into the marriage, quitting her highly-paid job, cutting off ties with her own parents and having given birth to a new-born child under sheer pressure from in-laws, Alison could never find the happiness she always wished for. She also had a younger brother who was engaged to be married soon.

The "Situation":

During these two years, while Alison was on major emotional downturns in her life, Ben was still looking out for his soul mate. In 2010, he met Katie through a priest who was a family friend. Katie came from a family with very humble backgrounds. She was a teacher by profession. If one had to compare the two families purely on financial backgrounds, there existed a major difference. But behold, this isn't just a "rich-guy-meets-poor-girl" story. Ben owned and had seen a lot more money in his life that Katie had ever dreamed of. He had properties and other investments in his name, owned substantial gold, owned a car and had a hefty bank balance. But all this never affected his character and nature. He was a very humble and down-to-earth person. After the first few meetings, he found Katie interesting. Katie, on the other hand, found Ben to be perfect “husband material”. Things worked out and both of them dated for a year before saying “I Do” in November 2011. Katie came across as a very nice and well-behaved girl to Ben’s family. They were all very happy with the alliance.

Ironically, Alison’s younger brother also got married on the same day that Ben got married to Katie. And that’s not all, Alison delivered her new-born on that same day. Weird, isn't it? Makes one wonder what exactly is destiny up to? I personally, kept thinking about how this would end or rather, wouldn't end! 

So, anyway, Ben and Katie got married in November 2011. Within one month of their marriage, in December 2011, Ben’s aunt (his mother’s sister) suffered a massive heart attack which led to her untimely death. In another 15 days, Ben’s cousin suffered a paralytic attack. He had to be hospitalized and as I write this story, he’s still recovering. In early February 2012, that’s like two months into the marriage, Ben’s father who was a paralyzed, had a heart attack and expired. There had been three sad incidents in the family within two months of the wedding, one of which had made his mother a widow. It’s only a miracle how Ben’s siblings who were in different parts of the world could reach in time for the funeral. If asked to explain today, how they made it in time, it would seem utterly impossible. But I guess, sometimes, its God’s will that makes the impossible possible.

In a typical Indian society, such happenings right after a marriage in the family would be blamed upon the newly-wed daughter-in-law. But such wasn’t the case with Ben’s family. No one said a word to Katie, who, for the record, hadn’t shown the slightest hint of remorse. Neither did she show any care or concern towards her mother-in-law. All she always wanted was to time-and-again go live with her parents and for Ben to drop her there in his car while she wore every single piece of jewelry that she owned or was gifted to her at the wedding; even when there was no occasion. Obviously, she hadn’t lived with so much of money before and now that she had all of it overnight; it was getting to her head and influencing her behavior in a very wrong way. She was almost blinded by the luxurious lifestyle. To the height of acting greedy, she even rented out her wedding dress and asked Ben’s mother for all the gold and kept it at her parents’ place. Like, seriously, who does that within 2-3 months of getting married?! Being married far off from her parents’ house, traveling one way by road would take a minimum of 3 hours. Katie would never settle for any other mode of transport; she would insist that Ben drop her to her parents’ place and pick her when she wanted to come back home. Ben’s mother would often tell her it wasn’t safe to travel with all that gold on-person but Katie would always misunderstand and accuse her mother-in-law of wanting to take away all the gold. Eventually, when matters escalated, she started threatening to leave the house and never return back.

Ben had taken enough of it. Watching his mother being insulted had become a daily activity. One day when he dropped Katie to her parents’ place, he asked her not to come back. He didn’t want to live with her anymore. Ben consulted with their local parish priest and sought advice from a lawyer. In April 2012, he filed for divorce. That was it. Six months into the marriage and it was already over.

In an ideal catholic arranged marriage scenario where a number of background checks are carried out on a person before they get into marriage, in a situation where priests guarantee the character and nature of a potential girl or guy to be married, many questions arise! For starters, who are to be blamed... the priest who played mediator in the alliance or Katie's parents for not instilling the right values in their daughter or Katie herself for being such a pain-in-the-a** daughter-in-law or Ben's family for not having done proper background checks? Hadn’t Ben recognized Katie’s true nature while they dated for a year? Or was she that good at faking it… a part-time actress perhaps?

This brings us to some more important questions... how will society react to Ben’s siblings who are yet to be married… will their potential in-laws be all that forgiving to overlook the past family history? Will they find their right match through belief in an arranged marriage after witnessing the whole scene with their elder brother? What about their faith, what about Ben’s faith in the institution of marriage? To my knowledge, Ben had done nothing wrong. He only tried his best to be a good son, a good brother and a good husband. So what is he being punished for? After this scarring experience, will he ever manage to find love again and settle down?

Now, some may term this as over-thinking the whole issue but... considering the larger picture, if you try to reconnect the dots and put the pieces of the puzzle together, is this some kind of a sign from the Universe?! Everything happens for a reason; sometimes it unfolds before us in due course of time and sometimes it's up to us to take the initiative and figure it out. Ben’s marriage ending in six months and on the other hand, Alison’s marriage that is still going through enough of trouble… Does this mean that Ben and Alison were both originally meant to be with each other? Are these the consequences of denying that what was meant-to-be? 

What happened was indeed sad and my heart goes out to Ben’s family and I cannot help but feel immense pity for Alison. But it also makes me ask few basic questions – are marriages really made in heaven and joined on earth? What’s a sure shot way to know that you’ve found the person you’re meant to be with for the rest of your life? (Perhaps those who are happily married can answer this for me!).

I guess sometimes you just have to take the cue from the Universe or maybe, listen to your heart and decide who that person will be. There’s a simple way to determine that. Close your eyes and think about the sacred lines – “…to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. Hereto I pledge you my faithfulness…”, and no, you don't have to think about that one person whom you could commit this to, instead you have to think about that one person who would be willing to say the same for you and mean it with all their heart and soul. If you've been honest and observant enough in your life, this shouldn’t seem all that difficult! ;) :)

By narrating this story I do not mean to scare away all those wanting to settle down through arranged marriage and neither am I trying to imply that I'm strictly against the concept. This just happens to be one of the cases I know and wanted to share. There’s only one piece of advice I’d like to give – don’t marry someone you barely know, getting to know the real person is key to having a happy married life!

P.S. I ain’t capable of giving any more valuable advice than this. People who are married and are reading this, I welcome some sensible advice for life, rather married life!